Just a small meditation on writing. I am known for my love and criticism of writing quite openly among my friends. I have a grave respect for what writing is; I’m in love with the craft. I have fallen in love a few times during my life so far, but it is only with writing that I come back to it and fall in love all over again. Romanticism is not in my nature, so this is not dramatization. What writing is to me is a friend that I can never find in another person. Writing is my appeal to a person whom I have yet to meet, the one who can inspire me. I met a few great men, and I know a few that will become them in the future, but what I want is someone who is beyond that. My writing is a reach beyond mankind; I want an understanding that is not limited by the omnipresent ego. There in, however, lies a flaw. When it comes to men, it is the ego that is the driving factor, (this is not used in the Freudian definition). Self confidence, pride, etc. what people are taught to loathe and hide, is what I appreciate most. I admire those with a wholesome ego for they know who they are and accept it. There is a lot misunderstood when it comes to the egoistic man. But this is not about that. What do I mean by an understanding beyond mankind and its ego? I mean a stretch into the land of the overman. It is understandable that a man with a great ego should become the greatest; it’s been proven throughout history. The next step is to be able to cast it aside. This is not a suggestion to discard the ego towards a pursuit of selflessness. I must make it clear; to become the overman, one does not cast aside his personal egoism in search of something greater. Instead, one assimilates his ego with his environment and is able to perceive the world as much as he does himself. In that situation, the ego is no longer pertaining to the man itself; it is lost in what becomes an ultimate understanding. That is what I seek through my writing, an appeal to that man, and though I may still be an immature writer, I still reach out towards my goal.
What would it be like to be the overman? I can’t answer that question, but I do know I want to find out as much as anyone else does. To transcend mankind takes courage that is not found in our generations; it is frightening leap of faith for anyone who attempts. The blasphemy of the situation is that it is a leap of faith for everyone but those who can become the overman, for those require no faith. An existence without fear, pain, guilt, pleasure, love, and even time is not something we as humans can perceive. And yet it is precisely that existence that epitomizes the overman. It is frightening because we cannot imagine it; and yet it is thrilling because we still want to find out. I know I do. I want to see it, I want to live it. There are moments where I wonder about what sets a man apart. Courage? Confidence? Or is it perhaps Conscience? Many writers have strived and reached in the right direction, finding egoism as the ultimate goal of man. I dare go a step further and state now that an assimilation of egoism with one’s environment is the ultimate goal of the overman. The ultimate conscience! I thirst for it, not embittered by jealousy but instead delighted in my capacity to witness and imagine something amazing. People have erected idols for thousands of years and worshipped them. The overman is my idol, but I am not humbled by it. My only desire is to find it, experience it, to perhaps become the overman myself.
Writing, I have fallen in love with you again.