Friday, January 27, 2012

-19- On Having fun?

I like to think that with every moment that passes, I grow to become a better human being. In this case, I don't mean better as in "good", or "bad", but just better. It's a nice feeling to have, and I'll be able to trick myself with it for a while until I start to get really old. Nonetheless, I'll still be able to look back and say, "well shit, at least I'm not going to repeat THAT."

And oh boy is there a lot of shit not worth repeating. And this isn't about things I regret, but just about small, dumb things that I'm glad I won't do again. In fact, I feel quite proud of some of the stupid things I did. Have you ever thrown a stink bomb in a classroom because of a dare? I did, because I was the new kid and I didn't give a fuck about dares. It was stupid and I got shit from the man for it, but I don't mind making that mistake. It's not because "nobody's perfect"; it's because it was fun! And I like fun. In fact, That's how I gauge my growth, by the degree of fun I can get out of life.  That's how you know you're improving.

There's a large unsaid truth in the world that people keep trying to hide. Here it is, plain and simple. If you're not getting fun out of life, you're doing it wrong. And don't start criticizing just yet. Yes, there are ups and downs in life, and if happiness was the natural state, then it wouldn't really be happiness, I get that. But why the fuck not, people? I mean, come on, happiness is what we should all be aiming for, right? Immortality is apparently impossible (shut up science geeks), and afterlife..., let's just say the pagans had their own views on this stuff too, and we laugh at THEIR religion, don't we?
Happiness is the one value that I think most people share in common. Some depressing motherfuckers will disagree, but fuck 'em. Life's a party.

Think about all the things you can get out of life. You can't live forever. Most, most of us won't get filthy rich, and for some that do, it won't do much good either. A lot of people will die young and won't see it coming. Some others will die very fucking old and won't even know who they are by the time it happens. That happens, this are not things that are up to debate. No old guy can say, "fuck this, whip out the time machine, I want to go back to when i was twenty!" Dead people don't start banging the coffin "I swear to god, I didn't know I put it in reverse!" It just happens. But what is up to debate is how you look at life and what you want to get. For me, I want to get fun out of my life. That's how I know I've gotten better at something I am doing; when I get more fun out of it.

Think about what kind of a person you are. I know what kind of a person I am; I'm a fun guy. I like to make jokes, bad jokes, good jokes, all kinds of jokes. I like to write, I like to draw, I like to eat tasty things and then tell everyone about it. My god have you tried the pizza place on bay ridge? God fucking DAMN it's good. These are things I like because they're fun, and I like fun. The only thing I like more than having fun is having even more fun, and I'll do anything for it.

What do you like most in life? Do you like fun, like I do? Do you like being sad? It's okay, you're allowed to be different, i won't bully anyone.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

-18- On photography.

A heads up before I start, this post is my opinion only, and you are free to counter argue, tell me I'm wrong and explain why, I don't even mind insults, it's all good. I don't always allow for this kind of free for all, but when I do, it means a big, fat, probably irrational, post is coming up after wards. Just a heads up for next time.

I really, really don't like photography. I like looking at good pictures, but you know what I do next? I look at a different picture. And I'm not a five year old, so pictures don't keep me occupied anymore. Fuck photography, because it isn't really an art form (go ahead, bite me). Yes, I know, pictures are art, and it's true, but photos do not require as much work as paintings and drawings do. A press of a button is not enough to impress me. I understand that you need to set up, find the right shading and scenery, zoom in, and then take the shot, and you can argue about it all you want, but it isn't the same as having to actually MAKE a picture. That's completely different. You can take a class on photography. Tons of people aren't even accepted into art school. In fact, because photography is so easy (go ahead and argue here), most people don't even attempt other forms of art. I say most because I know many people who can do photography and draw, etc. but they are few and far in between, even if they don't want to admit it. 

Now photography has it's benefits; now we have more than just sketches to point out people we don't like, but it is running rampant. I'll ask a question many of you have probably asked before: Just how many pictures of sunsets do we need in this world? There are good photographers and they also take pictures of sunsets, but not all the time. Also, since when are captions so big in photography? I'm not talking about memes, just in general, the whole point of a picture was always that the picture spoke for itself. Taking pictures of something written kills the point. Just write it out, dumbass. And what about black and white? Really now? I thought the whole point of pictures was the quality. If I was a dog, I wouldn't mind, but black and white to me just means that the picture is black and white; there is no artistic venture involved, the picture does not mean more, it's the same fucking thing, just without color.
And what about all those pictures of eyes. This is typically used by ugly girls to focus on a small portion of their face so you don't see that they're really whales in human form. Using a picture of your eye for a profile pic is stupid. Unless I'm an eye scanner, I have no idea who you are, but thankfully, I realize I don't need to know you in the first place. 

Lastly, to come back to a point I already mentioned, what is up with people's fascination with pictures again? Books are no longer appreciated on the same scale as a good photograph. Photo sharing websites are the new big thing. Is this a large society based joke? Some idiot at this point would say "A picture tells a thousand words." Yeah, well then why do we watch movies? Because evidently, one picture from the movie doesn't tell you enough about the story, does it? That's what I'm getting at here, that pictures are childish, they're an amusement, not an art. Pictures are just memory aid for me, but I know not to appreciate them too much. They are a means to an end, they are not the end. Instead of just taking a picture, next time, try writing about what you feel when you take that picture. You'll be surprised when you realize that your picture doesn't contain everything. In fact, it might not even contain anything at all.

Again, you are free to post a rebuttal, insults, anything goes. I know exactly what I wrote.

P.S. Think about it, if this blog were pictures, would you really understand?

Monday, January 16, 2012

-17- On Heroes

It's Martin Luther King JR's day, or something. I think that's the actual name. It's a day in which we remember Martin Luther King Jr., essentially and think about all the great things he's done for us. He's one of society's heroes, a civil rights leader to be remembered for his courageous acts in the face of injustice, and his dream of equality.

Now, obviously, I am not here to praise any of that. This is not that type of blog. I think he's just like any other man, and in fact, he was put on the pedestal not because of transcending typical human qualities of being a scumbag and a jerk, which he was, but in a lesser sense than most. (I'm going off the information found here, for those who are curious and ready to hurl the curses, What I want to talk about is just what people really look for in a leader. I don't know for sure, in fact, anyone's free to debate, but my bet is, in a hero, people really mean to look for a leader.

First off, I don't think leadership is that rare a quality as it's made out to be. In the earlier post about school education, I've expanded slightly on John Gatto's thesis that schools are made to dumb kids down. They are also made to suppress leadership skills as well. With the huge emphasis on rules in the school, there is very little chance for any initiative. Believe me, whenever I've tried something new in high school, it either ended up as total failure or a success, based on whether the teacher was lenient. My school was made to narrow people down, to not allow them to stray away from the crowd. Attempts to lead a class discussion were curbed in order to give the other students a chance. But that's the thing! This is what puts leaders above others, they take the chance away from others! You can't lead unless you've placed yourself as the leader. Schools make society sound as a pool of fairness where everyone has the same opportunities. That is not true. Teaching kids bullshit like that is exactly what stops most of them from becoming leaders. They expect an opportunity to come to them. It does not work that way. Opportunities must be chased in order to be seized.

To become a hero is simple; you have to be an admired leader. In a sense, all leaders appeal to the public; it is much harder to control by force than appeal, (a point well made in Brave New World by Huxley, when compared to 1984 by whatever the guy's name was). Even Hitler, a person whom I normally abstain from mentioning due to the many stupid misconceptions surrounding him, appealed to people as a leader. Most presidents are considered fine leaders, except those who failed to appeal to the public.

The formula becomes clear: to become a hero you need to be a leader and take charge of a movement, and to appeal to the public. Of course that will at first make you become a great leader, but not necessarily a hero, but after a while, if your appeal persists and the public really digs what you've done, you become a hero.

What I hope becomes clear, is that heroes are not really much different from anyone else, (except the losers, of course). It's just people who have leadership qualities and appeal. Popular culture reveres the heroes we experiences, while education crushes the next generation before they even have a chance. There will come a time, I believe, when all the heroes will be in the past. I don't necessarily like to leave a post on a positive note, but I will this time, just for the sake of those who are wondering about it. Yes, you can become a leader, and even a hero who will be remembered for something great. It is not as hard as it looks.

Friday, January 13, 2012

-16- Friday the 13th

Let's talk about unfortunate events. I'm sure everyone had their run ins with the shitty side of life, and occasionally it all gets piled onto one day. Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you're sore like a motherfucker even though you did nothing at all the day before. Sometimes you wake up late. Sometimes you don't even wake up in the morning. The latter actually is my preferred of the bad luck days, because then at least you've taken up some time that could have been used productively stepping in shit or something. After the day starts on the wrong foot and you already know what you're in for, there's usually a slight lull in bad luck, usually between breakfast and right before you get outside. This is to make you relax and fall for one of life's greatest presents that I already mentioned above, stepping into shit on the way to work.

By the way, there are degrees to stepping into shit, believe it or not. There's the side step, which is just the tip of your shoe, easy to rub off, probably the least of your worries unless you got your pants involved in that one. Then there's the tip of your toes, when it's right on the front of your shoe, and it's a total bummer because you can see it and it's nasty, and there's usually absolutely nothing there to get it off when you need it most. It sucks, but it can get worse. There is after all, the full impact heel. This is the absolute worst state of stepping into shit, and is the best indicator of bad luck. There are so many problems involved here. First off, if you powerwalk like a champ, you are likely to slide down the shit and maybe even fall into it. Secondly, you can't get it out. You can wipe your shoe on grass, and whatever else you find, but it won't come off. The heel of every shoe is made purposely to carry shit you've stepped on with you for as long as it possibly can. And finally, if you're not paying attention, you won't even notice it. Only later on, someone will come up to you and ask "What's that smell?" and then there it is! Under your heel, smirking at you. That foul beast!

How can things get any worse after stepping in shit, you might ask? Well there is always an answer, my dear friends, and that answer is last nights food. This is the basic scenario for a shitty day at work/school, for days when life doesn't want to get creative with what it's going to throw at you. You sit there, quietly doing your work, and then you realize that those weird sounds you've been hearing are coming from your stomach. In my case, I could never be sure whether they were good sounds or bad sounds. And the moment you notice it, you realize everyone else has been staring at you for a while, making bets on whether or not you're going to rip the biggest one ever. In this case, my usual reaction is to stare back at every person at once, in the matter of a guy who just triggered a pressure bomb. Everyone knows what's going to happen and that you can't control it. Nonetheless, they still stare at you as if you can just press a button and turn that shit off. But it doesn't work that way. You can't turn off baked beans for dinner. It just doesn't work that way. So you sit there, with that ticking bomb inside you, not knowing just what's going to happen next.

Another unfortunate occurrence that never gets old is being accused of shit you didn't do. It often is for something you don't even care about, like eating something that isn't yours or taking something you can't even spell correctly. I mean who the fuck steals a needlespine acuna cactus? Really? My fifth grade teacher was a fucking idiot. The worst part is that whenever you get accused of this nonsense, your alibi isn't much better. No, teacher, I wasn't stealing your bullshit cactus, because I was trying to sneak a peek at my grades. See, you can't say something like that. And the older you get, the worse these situations get. No, policeman, I wasn't stealing this little girl's scooter, because I was smoking in the bathroom doesn't let you off much better. In these bummer situations, all you can say is "I wasn't even in the room!", but of course, that's what they all say. There's literally no way out of this one rather than just saying "fuck it", and playing along with the story until the whole story blows over.

You might have guessed it, an even worse unfortunate occurence is being accused of shit that you DID do. Fuck, nobody likes to get caught. It's a bummer, it's the whole reason we do bad shit, just so we wouldn't get caught. If I know i'll get caught, i don't do bad shit. When I do bad shit, it's because I hope i won't get caught and sometimes just for the thrill of not getting caught. You know? So when I'm caught, it sucks terribly because I didn't want to get caught. Fuck getting caught. But you can't get yourself un-caught, covering up a crime after it's already been done is impossible. So the only thing that can happen from there is to sit there and take the slap on the wrist, or some other place, wherever applicable, and plan how to not get caught next time. There is a bigger downside though, for when you get caught for doing shit you forgot doing. In those situations I just sit there saying "oh. Oh that sounds like me. Oh shit I did it. Wait, fuck I just confessed." And it's not even my fault that I forgot, it's the accuser's fault for not finding out in time. That's the other part of doing bad shit, I do it so that somebody at least tries to find out who did it. If nobody finds out, it's like i didn't do anything in the first place. But when someone finds out and it's so late even I forgot, it sucks even worse. There's no thrill, there's not even the bummer of being caught. You just sit there saying, "holy shit man, you didn't even know? I forgot I did it man, what do you want from me, to keep a notebook of the bad shit I do?"

And you guessed it, the last unfortunate occurrence, although this might not be shared with others, is when someone finds the notebook where you keep track of all the bad shit you do. I'll end this here; if I go on it will get too private, so on this note, thank you for reading and good luck to all of you. Don't step in shit, don't eat baked beans, and don't get caught doing bad shit. Plan it out better.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

-15- Discoveries away from the keyboard. Part 1, the iPad

I'll be honest about it, everyone is a computer addict by now, and those who aren't, are probably using the iphone or something like that. Not me, I'm a class act, I will live and die by my laptop (well, when the laptop dies, I'll get a new one, but still). Something about not having to constantly touch the screen attracts me. I was using an iPad the other day, and it was not worth the hype. I know that everyone was talking about how shitty it was going to be, and when it came out everyone loved it, but I wasn't impressed by it, and I approached the iPad pretty open mindedly. It's just annoying to zoom in and out, and whatnot. The keyboard constantly makes a clicking noise, and it irritates you until you turn it off, and then you want it back. Half the websites I know had a completely different layout for iPad users, and it... was shitty. It was like traveling into the distant future and realizing that things have somehow gone terribly wrong. What's most curious is how hard logging out is. It's like in the far right corner, occasionally at bottom left, just to confuse the crap out of you, and you can never click it on the first try without setting off some advertisement, unless you zoom in. It's disappointing how honest the programmers are these days, all of this just screams "you're a consumer, and we don't give a fuck about what you want because you'll take it." And it's true. Think about it. The keyboard on the iPad is not practical; it's made for minimal input. You can't use it to write anything more than a paragraph long email, maybe a text message. If there is a better keyboard option, let me know and I'll stand corrected. All the websites you visit on the iPad, almost all, at least, offer you a downloadable app, most of which are required if you want at least a half assed experience of the website, and they're supposedly "free". They really aren't though, because they take up space. There's a difference between price and cost, and while the price may be zero, the cost is still there. The last piece of bickering with the iPad, is the size of the goddamn pictures everywhere. I'm not quite sure at what point in time people reverted back to caveman mode, I'm still personally proud of our reading and writing skills, but pictures are definitely back with a bang. Half the website logos are huge, and while with Google, I can understand (it's a search engine, you don't need much space for it, the other websites are definitely pushing it. Big pictures do not impress me, especially when you can zoom in and our of those fuckers anyway. Reading on the iPad is decent, I won't lie about that, but if the webpage isn't in the right format, then fuck you, you'll be shifting left and right to get a complete sentence, which just isn't worth the time it consumes.

Monday, January 2, 2012

-14- New Year's Resolutions.

Do not make New Year's Resolutions. They're stupid. The whole concept is just out there waiting to be insulted. When I hear my friend telling me about how they're going to be eat healthier in the upcoming year my reaction is "Really? You waited until now?" For most of those people, it's already a little late, to be frank. And what's the deal with having the same resolutions over an over again. If it's not going to work, why not give up. Clearly, waiting until the start of a new year to begin a new way of behavior hasn't worked for you, so you should try a different approach. The start of a new year is not a magic date, ladies and gentlemen, it does not do the work for you. Making a resolution takes a lot, and January 1st is not one of them. I personally don't do resolutions, as you might have guessed. I have a different approach to the many problems I have to deal with. I call it, solving the problem. If I see an activity that I should cease immediately, I do so. I do not wait for the next year. Also, I do not tell my friends about it, or ask them about the activities that they resolve to do/stop doing in the upcoming year. Suppose they want to stop masturbating? Nobody wants to talk about how they want to stop beating their meat for an entire year. Alright alright, I'll stop some readers' embarrassments here. The point is clear. No personal decision really deserves to be shared with other people, particularly those that were made stupidly and probably won't be carried out.

There was supposed to be a punchline at the end but i made a resolution not to use those.