Monday, December 5, 2011

-10- On Mondays

Mondays are awful. Nobody likes Mondays, and I bet when mondays go to kindergarten they sit by themselves in the cafeteria. Saturdays would definitely be the cool kids; everyone loves saturdays, although maybe Friday would be more popular. Of course Friday got killed brutally by Rebecca Black, but that's not Friday's fault.

Back to Mondays though, the problem of any Monday is that it will always, always be the first day after the weekend, and thus the one that puts you as far away from the next weekend as possible. On a Monday, the average Friday seems several centuries in the future, courtesy of the horrible bosses (who are really are just venting on you because they're pissed it's a Monday), or professors (who are equally pissed at Mondays). Mondays hit you especially hard because they bring you back to the same place you were on the last Monday. You're with the same people (most of whom are usually pretty horrible), and in the same place (not much to say about that either). Furthermore, last time you saw the people you're seeing on a Monday was likely to be Friday, when they were happy and cheerful. On a Monday, you can see that they're dead inside.

What's a good way to fix Mondays? Every week, switch Monday with some other weekday. Start off the week with a Saturday, and progress onward from there. Switch Monday with Wednesday ('cause fuck Wednesdays), or something like that. Just get Mondays out of the frontlines. Mondays are the source of depressions personal and economic, the worldwide famines, orphans, obesity and diabetes. If Monday was a real person, he would be worse than Hitler.

There. That being said, today was a pretty shitty day. Guess why?

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